Madison Mai

Today!  Started at 4am when I found out I was an aunty again today to my brother Adam and Kate's little girl Madison Mai - Lady Maddy Mai for short.  Then I went back to bed and was rudely awaken to move my car by my mum which turned me into the grouch.  So I called my sister to make me feel better, I was greeted by three people  -  my cute nephew Archie 3, niece Erica 5 and my sister (AGE NOT TO BE DISCLOSED) all pulling faces - result cheered up! They made me smile until Archie asked me when was I going to come back to visit him in DB - Honkers Konkers.  Normally, I would say, "soon mate" and usually it would be but because I have been made redundant from my job I properly started to realise I couldn't in fact jump on a plane and go see this cute little guy who was being so sweet.  On seeing me cry like a big baby and with bags under my eyes that Gucci would die for from the sleepless night I had - he said this.  "Why are you crying old lady", to which I then realised, not only was I homeless (soon), jobless, boyfriendless, dogless, catless, childless - I was now fooking old too............. god damnit!

So what to do, answers on a postcard please! ha ha.  No I am going to write a list of what I want,  I have 12 months to make this happen.......

1. New job - freelance & own business or working for another cooperate company 

2. New home

3. New Boy - that would be nice

4. New dog

5. New cat

6. Finish children's book

7. Grow my tumblr popularity

8. Write a sitcom

9. Maybe foster some brats

10. Win lottery, so all of the above can happen sooner rather than later

Would you agree that there is a lot of change going on in my life and that it is all good because at least I have a shopping list and if I know what I want at least I have direction. Although, I have had a shitty couple of days, I have a new cheeky niece to add to the other beautiful rascals in my life.  Today feels like a new beginning - a clean slate.  I am going to make this happen.......... can't be boyfriendless, catless, dogless, jobless, homeless Aunty "Old Lady" Sarah! Frigging kids really can show you the mirror sometimes can't they.  Love you Gracie, Erica, Zachie, Part time Archie and new addition as of today Madison Mai. 

Thanks for tuning in and listening to my life - you make me smile too.

S x

New v's Old

Hi, it's been nearly a year since I last spoke to you all via my blog but I am back.  Back to have a bit of a rant actually!  I have come to realise something about myself in the last week, care of a new found friend, however my mum will tell you that she has been telling me this for years - oops! Why do we never listen to our nearest and dearest - why does it always take an outsider to show us a mirror?  That's another blog!  Anyway, I sit next to Haroon our new shoe designer and he brought to my attention my lack of tolerance for any old music i.e. musicals, 60's,70's,80's 90's .   This became apparent when in work, we each select an album of choice on spotify and I would say that on this particular day I was driven to distraction by 70% of the music.  Not only did I realise I am not a lover of Dionne Warwick but I also rock with annoyance and my tolerance levels on a scale of 1-10 is zero.  I am not particularly graceful when I cannot bear the music and I show it.    

Everyday this week we have had dreadful choices from the girls on the taste level of music and it has literally driven me over the edge.  I stooped to an all time low on Friday night while part taking in some festive drinking activity which lead to me booing the band and heckling at them from an elevated position in the bar - i.e. standing on a bar stool.  This is not very elegant or karmically pleasing behaviour on my part but I had been driven to it all week.  I can only apologise for my outrageous backlash to 1980's old tunes, it had been building up all week.  The poor girl who was singing even asked me to come over and explain my angst, she was very gracious but still carried on playing the same old shit, it was like being back in Butlins, back in the day. Don't get me wrong, I loved my childhood memories of Butlins but we live in 2012 and I was looking forward to busting some moves to Will - iam and Britney Bitch. 

Haroon thinks it is hilarious and refreshing at the same time that I live for the present and future in music and all things in life, I suppose it is a designer trait, we search for the new and exciting and as my mum would call it I become fickle with the old and past. I do love nostalgia in small bursts but my ears bleed when my step dad listens to the sound of the sixties.  Bless my mum she has to tolerate my irateness.  Thank god for the conservatory at my mums house which serves as my respite to dreary and old music that John insists on listening to regardless to my annoyance, he probably doesn't even realise know.   

All I can hope for is a lock down on BBC radio Merseyside over xmas and that certain people in the team get with the programme on the music front..... ha ha!  Each to their own I suppose, I am just glad I like what I like.  

Daydreaming! Can be a curse.......... ooops!

This afternoon while driving home from my mum's I did a bit of a detour! Bloody daydreaming at the wheel singing along to Jarmiroquai I totally missed the turning to the M62 Leeds and ended up 13 miles offa Preston. Bugger! What a complete twit!

I was dreaming up a new way of trend blogging and probably speeding because was listening to the speed demon Jamiroquai when I realised I was near Chorley (Lancashire - wrong rose county) unbloodybelievable but totally me. I am off to Paris on Wednesday with work and my friend Rebecca has been panicking about having to go with me because of my scattiness, she fears we will come a cropper somewhere! Bless her! In the week I was reassuring her I am good on a trip, she was not convinced. I generally am upbeat, quietly organised and a pleasure, I have been told, to be on a trip with, but I can sort of understand where Rebecca is coming from when the daydreaming gene kicks in.

I recently lost my way back to Liverpool three times in the same journey when on a trip with the girls from my team, this may not surprise you if you were to think I had never experienced this journey before but for you who do not know me - this is a regular occurrence. My excuse for this scatty behaviour was I had had a big night the night before - not good on reduced hours of sleep! The only other mishaps I have experienced on my journey's was, I once left my passport at the snack shop in Stockholm and missed my plane home. I have missed a flight home from Honkers because it was a midnight flight - wrong day and all that. Other than that I couldn't go to china for the day because I thought I had left my passport back at my sisters, when in fact I had my passport in my bag the whole time. I am sure the people I have travelled with, will be able to note more stannerisms - but I think these are my highest daydream moments.

I am glad I am a daydreamer but I realise that if I am to continue with this behaviour I should ensure I have a full tank of petrol, it was a very arduous task sticking to 70mph in an attempt to get home on 90 miles worth of petrol. It's times like these that make you realise where the feck is my RCA cover and what's the number! What a complete nightmare but I can laugh now!

Hope Rebecca is ready for Paris! I will try not to daydream mate!

Thanks for tuning in. Are you a daydreamer?

Stan xx

Writing a book! Where do I start? ah!

I decided to write a children's book two years again and I actually started this little extension of my career while sat on a sun lounger in Tenerife. It took me three days to pen it and an afternoon at my friends typing it up. I have even had my friend Sheila do some illustrations which are beautiful but for some reason I have not focused on this venture until this new year. Why?

I think the fear of the book not being successful has held me in a sense of immobility and so not to complete the book always leaves me in this nice place of security with an ambition that one day I could achieve success. However, if I don't try I won't fail, it takes the spin off the old saying, "you won't know until you try!" So I am challenging my fear and I am going to get out there with my book. Just a few finishing touches and a session with my lovely friend to view all the illustrations and hopefully it is going to be brilliant. I don't think I am going to be the next Jo Rowling, she is a genius. My book does have a few usp's up its sleeve though, I might even take it to the Dragon's Den.

Why do we do that? Hold our fate in suspense so we can feel hope - instead of going for it, we would achieve a lot more in a shorter amount of time. I don't understand it - further to that why do bad singers set themselves up for a fall when they stand in front of an auditorium of people to audition for x factor? They have no fear, no idea really & yet they believe they can achieve regardless to Simon Cowell's opinion. I was told today I had good self awareness, so with this in mind I am going to aim for the book to be ready by the end of January with all the merchandise. There, done it committed to it in writing. Just need to get on with it now.

What holds you in fear? Anything? Nothing? Write it down - then you can at least realise what you need to do? Then don't waste your time in suspense feel the success or failure, at least then you can say you have tried.

Thanks for tuning in - off to finish a book now.

Stan xx

Happy New Year 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This year my aim is to be happy!

Going to finish my children's book, going to try and let someone into my life, going to enjoy my career and not sweat the small stuff, going to open another bank account (mum's instructions), going to visit my sister in Honkers with her mad family, going to visit my brother and his lovely family before he goes off to Afghanastan, going to have fun with my mum, going to see my friends on the Isle of Wight, going to meet my friend Di's baby - still haven't done that yet - bad friend, going to send more letters to Daphne my friends mum, going to take xmas presents to the Horspools, going to organise a lovely holiday away for me and my mum and whoever wants to come - I am going to be 40 and my mum is going to be 60, time to celebrate, going to restore furniture and sell it, going to sell beautiful things online, going to visit lots of national trust places up in Yorkshire, going to start with that and see how I get on. Hope you all have a great 2012 ahead.

P.S. Will try and update more often and find better content - 2011 was eventful hoping 2012 will be even better xx

Thanks for tuning in

Stan xx

What would you do? If you won the lottery this evening!

Since moving to Yorkshire for a more inexpensive lifestyle opposed to living in the big smoke of London town I seem to have attracted more bills than ever. My solution - write a list - pay what I can afford, have a glass of wine and dream of what I would do if I were to win the lottery this very evening. I am in it to win by the way - I have bought my ticket and the numbers which I have not checked yet are

12,17,26,30,40,42 - fingers crossed!

What would I do if I were to win. Where would I start - I would rock up at my mum's tomorrow with two tickets for Tahiti where I would plan my future with a strawberry daiqurai in hand on a sun lounger. I would pay off all my bills and save all my friends & family from their bills also. Of course we would have to have a party to celebrate everyone being debt free. Wouldn't that be great when everyone is feeling the pinch of the recession. Good times!

My new career would be to run a florist with a lingerie and gift service for the lucky girls in this world to be treated by the men in their lives. I would be able to bring a smile to a lot of people's faces every day. All this would be run from my very own grand design house that I would live in with my perfect man, cat and dog! It's not much to ask really is it. I have my eyes on my lottery future. Wish me luck and let me know if you win - what would you do with your winnings! It's up to you!

Good luck everybody!

Thanks for tuning in

Stan xx

you heard it first here! Bradshaw - Jones Syndrome !

The Bradshaw Jones Syndrome is an illness found in many women. We go out looking hot and aspiring to the legendary Carrie Bradshaw - for the benefit of the men who are reading this blog - she is the lead fashionista in Sex and the City. We carry off our newest trends with the maximum poise we can muster in our sky high heels and we trot off into the evening hoping to find Mr Big - or at least Mr Right for now.

However, we have a flaw in our plan to secure our Mr Big and it is one suffered by a fellow heroine Bridget Jones. Either through our association with the wineage or just blantant bridgetness we end up going home without Mr Big or Mr Darcy. We end up tucked up in bed alone thinking w.t.f happened there. Bedraggled and lacking the glamour of the previous night we wonder what did I say, what did I do, what do I do next?

There is a solution - a remedy for all women looking to escape the Bradshaw - Jones syndrome. Stay off the drink - it is evil - it strips away the glamour and reduces you to a Jones mess! Abstain from all party antics such as dancing on tables and doing the splits, this is the only way forward.

The alternative is staying with the Bradshaw - Jones syndrome, enjoying the fun and staying single. I know I am condemned to the Bradshaw - Jones way of life - but in a way I love it!

Are you a Bradshaw - Jones sufferer - good for you!

Thanks for tuning in.

Stan x

P.S. Bridgetness behaviour - can be described as locking yourself out of your house and having to sleep in the garage! This is a very rare form of bridgetness and I would never do anything like this but it can happen.