The common cold!........ it's a fooking nightmare! x

See this image - a hottie with a cold! NOOOOOOOOOOO! There is no glamour in the common cold. I sneezed today and I swear to god my entire nose erupted onto my chest and not in a good way! I am less than three months into my new job and this could be seen as a sackable offence.

The cold has set in and it is here to stay for the foreseeable. Yesterday was the grumpy tired day. Today was the tired day & less grumpy day and all I have managed to do is make dinner and drink wine since I got home this evening - it is medicinal and I have a cold not man flu! ha ha! you boys know how you milk an illness. I don't mean to piss on your strawberries boys but I am here on my own and I have no one to moan to personally so I am just sending my grumpiness out to the universe, hoping that the universe will get tired of me and either send me Tom Hanks with some daisies as in the film"You've got Mail" or George Clooney with a gold fish as the film "One fine Day" - neither will make me better but I'm not fussy - universe send me either they will do.

I am a bit away with the fairies tonight - don't go there! I know you all think I am away with the planets most of the time but this cold has adled my brain cells - not even going to attempt to correct spelling mistakes tonight. Sorry! It's time's like this that you wish your mum was here so that she could bring you wine - oops medicine and then you could put your feet under her bum to keep warm - weird but warm - let's face it. It's times like this that you wish it was a Saturday tomorrow so you didn't have to haul your poorly carcass out of bed and try to fluff your way through work with a half snot - half functioning brain. It's also time like this that you wish you had a significant other who would just say to you, poor you, do you want another lemsip, do you want a cuddle, do you want me to run you a bath - do you know what I don't care that I might catch your cold - just want to kiss you better! Oh! it's naff being a distant relative of Bridget Jones! Just waiting for the alastian to come and eat me! Only joking - off to bed now to mend my poorly body! Let's hope for your sake I get better soon - boring myself here with this pathetic drivel.

Love you all for tuning in - thank you, feeling better already!

Top tips for curing the common cold - send on a postcard and I will forward to Squibb immediately and see you in a caribbean island near you soon.

Stan x